Hi my name is Absynthe, I am a pretend sex symbol, amateur drag queen, & a professional bitch. I live in Portland, Oregon, which according to Portlandia, means I'm a freak. I aspire to be the coolest bitch in the trailer park. My drag inspirations are Madison Montgomery, Tara Reid, & Marshmellow from Bob's Burgers. I enjoy white Zinfandel, eating Nutella directly from the jar & Friday nights spent worshipping the Dark Lord Santa. So yeah, enjoy your time looking at half naked mens, all of my shameless selfies, and shit I found funny while I was drunk.
P.S tell your dad to quit snapchatting me.
if i was bisexual i would use this line all the time
I am bisexual and I will, in fact, be using this in the future
when I first tweeted these I had to try to hide them from my two psychologist parents but then they got so big that my neighbor told them about it and so they sat me down to ask if I needed help.
You can’t eat the biscuits if you don’t pay for the flour.
i don’t know…
I just watched this episode for like the 4th time. Love her so much.